❮PDF❯ ❤ Luke Banderloft and The McFarven Pirates Author Rocky Perry – Agedanna.info

Luke Banderloft and The McFarven Pirates There is a storyteller at work here and he throws out an amazing cast of characters elves several kinds , Canarians bigger than most humans , Bloods even bigger guys , centaurs big and strong but not too smart , healers, mages, Sea Dwarves, Bird People, trolls, Ettin bigger and meaner than trolls and ogres , a creature than can move through wood, even a minotaur, who alas only has a walk on part They all inhabit a world of piracy and skullduggery Some might say there is too much telling by the storyteller and not enough showing.There is much activity too close combat, sneak attacks, massed attacks, betrayals, lessons in sword play, naval battles, etc The story line is not clear on motive and the characters are not given much depth or development, but there is enough going on that one is lured to read on to find out how it ends Clearly, the author intends not to reveal all for a series is promised Luke Banderloft s character is said to be charming and slippery with the truth, but he is consumed by a loyalty to a couple of friends even if it is not at all clear why.The writing can use good editing as well as attention to development of character and motivation Perhaps the story teller can slow down his imagination to see clearly why one frame of the movie in his mind, so to speaks, leads to the next and convey thatfully to the reader. This Is The Story Of A Down On His Luck Wayfarer, Luke, A Silver Skinned Winged Elf, Whose Life Turns Around After Finding A True Friend Adventure Leads Luke To The High Seas Where He And His Crew Have To Fight For Their Lives As They Try To Outrun The Pirate Lord That Is Hunting Them Down Now, Desperate To Find His Missing Friends, Luke Takes Command Of A Mighty Vessel And Battles His Way Through Brigands, Trolls And Pirates To Find His Comrades, But Who Can He Really Trust I wanted to like this book I really did It has potential, but sadly, that potential is not realized 1 In the world of writers, this story is almost all tell, and very little show In other words, the author tells us Luke was afraid instead of showing us the situation and Luke s reaction and letting us figure out that he is afraid All of the telling makes for rather boring reading 2 Characters do weird, inexplicable things For example, early in the story, two characters meet and within a page they are partners There is no real explanation given, nor any obvious reason the relationship develops so quickly 3 Way, way too much happens This story takes action packed to a new level It s difficult to keep up with the situations and the characters because they come so quickly and thickly 4 It feels immature Within the first 10 pages, I found myself wondering the age of the author and thinking that perhaps he was still in high school there was one strange scene where on character could tell that another had it bad for a girl he d met for about 2 minutes Later, I decided that the whole thing felt like a fairly solid first draft that needs lots of revision the writing itself feels immature 5 This almost doesn t need to be said after point 4, but it is a legitimate gripe there are so many typos that my writer editor brain couldn t turn off and let my reader brain enjoy the story My suggestion for the author would be to join a few writers groups and find some people willing to help critique and sharpen his future work This story shows that he has big ideas with the potential to be entertaining stories, but as this book stands, I cannot recommend it. Great book I just added it to get it in the database I wrote it I would love feedback from my fans Thanks. Very poorly written Clich after clich , wooden character after wooden character Bogged down in nonsensical convoluted prose Reading it is worse than getting your teeth extracted with pliers without the use of a pain killer It s telling that the 5 star reviews are all from America, one of which is the author himself Friends and family Who knows Don t waste your money. I gave it 4 because I found myself smiling from head to toe, being satisfied with a good book It was simple in its plot, but simple meant as e.g how I enjoy Monty Python s sketches Its not the deep and epic journey, maybe epic because it s bloody pirates, but nevertheless VERY enjoyable Its simplicity actually made me give it 4 If that makes sense Oh, I don t care, I like it.

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