❰PDF / Epub❯ ✅ Skinny Dip Author Carl Hiaasen – Agedanna.info
Joey Perrone is pissed and she has every right to be On their second wedding anniversary, her husband, Chaz, surprises her by booking a romantic Carnival style cruise He surprises her again by getting her drunk, throwing her overboard in the middle of the night, and leaving her as shark bait What Chaz doesn t know is that Joey survives by clinging to a wayward bale of Jamaican weed She s found, exhausted and a little worse for wear, by Mick Stranahan, a recluse who lives on a private island and shuns the mainland after being forced into early retirement from the police force after killing a politically well connected criminal If fate dealt Joey a cruel blow that night on the cruise ship, it s certainly making up for it by creating the perfect situation in which to exact revenge on her philandering and murderous husband What follows is a bizarre, tangled, and amusing revenge scheme that reveals just what a lowlife Chaz Perrone really is.Carl Hiaasen books are quick, funny reads with a soul Skinny Dip is full of quirky characters such as Tool, the bodyguard with a bullet lodged in the crack of his ass and a penchant for collecting roadside crosses Red Hammernut, the Yosemite Sam like billionaire making big profit off of thwarting EPA rules Ricca, Chaz s mistress who has, shall we say, some peculiar artistic tendencies when it comes to personal grooming , implausible plot lines, and witty dialogue However, for all of the absurdity, there is an underlying environmental message about the Everglades and how big money and political influence can circumvent the very agencies who are trying to do right by our planet The message is never preachy Hiaasen simply uses the characters and the plot to point out how corporate corruption is going on beneath our very noses and how industrial farming s mismanagement of natural resources is making itself felt in our water supply, our land, and in the animals who inhabit the very ecosystems we re destroying However, if you re not looking for an environmental message, that s cool still consider giving Hiaasen a try There are plenty of zany capers, madcap adventures, and fun to be had.Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder I was out looking for a short term relationship, a book with benefits , a quick encounter with no long term demands, just a few hours of pleasure I met Skinny Dip in the Goodreads bar and who wouldn t be attracted to a cover with a suggestively unclothed blond beauty in the water I asked her out from the library for a brief fling I wasn t disappointed that s for sure Written by some guy I had never heard of, it had good reviews I checked and made sure it wasn t part of some 15 part novel series I just didn t need to be adding books to my TBR shelf Skinny Dip lived up to its billing, the pages going down like chips and salsa on a football afternoon The characters dreamed up by Mr Carl Hiaasen are just so good Mr Big is named Red Hammernut, his enforcer is Mr Tool and the scientist working for Red is a real Darwin award winner Dr Chaz Perrone is, well, think of the Bill Pullman character Earl Mott in Ruthless People yeah he is that dumb in some areas Hiassen isn t laugh out loud funny except in a few places but I have to go with a 5 Star rating, just based on the amount of time I had a grin on His main story is about the wife, Joey Perrone, who is thrown off her anniversary cruise ship by her dimwit husband She survives by hanging onto a bale of Jamaican dope floating in the Gulf Stream and is rescued by Mick Stranahan, a retired investigator living on an island off Miami The rest of the novel is about her effort to find out why her husband wanted to kill her and to take her revenge Hiassen moves the story along nicely and the revenge is so sweet, you will be chuckling Here are some nuggets for you purview As Red Hammernut listened to Chaz Perrone s story, he thought of the many blessings that had come his way, but also of the toil A big farming operation like his was a challenging enterprise, relying as it did on rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of immigrant labor For Red it was no small feat to keep the Feds off his back while at the same time soaking taxpayers for lucrative crop subsidies and dirt cheap loans that might or might not be repaid this century He reflected upon the hundreds of thousands of dollars that he d handed out as campaign donations the untallied thousands for straight up bribes, hookers, private yacht charters, gambling stakes and other discreet favors and, finally, the countless hours of ass kissing he d been forced to endure with the same knucklehead politicians whose loyalties he had purchased.This was no easy gig Red Hammernut got infuriated every time he heard some pissy liberal refer to the federal farm bill as corporate welfare The term implied contented idleness, and nobody worked harder than Red to keep the money flowing and stay out of trouble Now the whole goddam shebang was in danger of falling apart because of one man.While Mick is waiting to meet up with the hairdresser girlfriend of the good doctor, he visits the salon Taking cover behind a magazine, Stranahan attempted to immerse himself in the travails of Eminem, a deep though conflicted young man Apparently wealth, fame and unlimited sex are nice, but true spiritual happiness must come from within.While Hiassen doles out the humor, he also puts some thoughtful pieces in Mr Tool s evolution is priceless and he throws in some serious Everglades conservation ideas while still being fun The only problem is I am adding a bunch of Carl Hiassen s novels to my TBR as he is just damn funny and, what the heck, I m always up for chips and salsa. 3.5 starsI always enjoy Carl Hiaasen s satiric, comic novels which generally highlight some atrocity humans are inflicting on the state of Florida In this book, Hiassen concentrates on Everglades pollution.The story Chaz Perrone who likes to be called Dr Perrone has a Ph.D in marine biology and a cushy job for the state of Florida monitoring pollution in the Everglades The thing is, Chaz should really be called Dr Scumbag because he s being paid off by Red Hammernut, a south Florida farmer whose fertilizer is contaminating the region Chaz pretends to test Everglades water samples, makes up fake results, and collects his payoff Job well done in his own mind Things start to go bottoms up when Chaz thinks his wife, Joey, has cottoned on to his scam So Chaz takes Joey on a luxury cruise for their second wedding anniversary, and throws her overboard in the middle of the night Chaz pretends to be overwrought about his missing wife , but Detective Karl Rolvaag who gets the case when the ship returns to port is immediately suspicious.Meanwhile, Joey a champion swimmer has survived She evaded predatory wildlife, latched onto a bale of marijuana, and drifted toward shore on the Gulf Stream..all the time seething at her husband Luckily, Joey was rescued by Mick Stranahan, a fiftyish ex cop living on a tiny island off Florida s coast After hearing Joey s story Mick wanted to call the police, but Joey had a better idea She planned to drive that lowlife Chaz crazy Chaz, convinced he got away with murder, proceeds to live his life He rids the house of Joey s belongings romances his long time girlfriend hairdresser Ricca Spillman and dreams of a fruitful, long lasting partnership with Red Though Chaz is repeatedly questioned by Detective Rolvaag la Columbo , he believes there s no proof of his crime Joey starts her campaign against dirtbag Chaz by hanging a favorite black dress in her now empty closet and leaving a torn photo under his pillow Chaz is bewildered, and thinks some stranger is breaking into his house When Chaz reports the intrusion to Red Hammernut, the farmer saddles Chaz with a bodyguard a big, hairy galoot named Earl O Toole Tool Tool is in pain from a bullet lodged mid butt, so he sneaks into hospitals nursing homes and peels Fantanyl patches off elderly patients then puts them on his roughly shaved back In the course of this larceny Tool meets an elderly lady, Maureen, and they develop a rather sweet friendship Through all this, Joey continues to play tricks on Chaz with the help of her brother Corbett and Mick As the pranks excalate, Chaz s anxiety increases, and he becomes alarmed when he can t get it up any Chaz starts taking little blue pills and the results are priceless Eventually Joey and her fellow tricksters perpetrate a jaw dropping hoax, which is wonderfully effective As they spend time together, Joey and Mick develop an attraction, which should appeal to romance fans As Chaz s life falls apart, he starts to become suspicious of everyone around him In fact in the course of the story Chaz kills several people However, none of them stay dead LOL All this action and hilarity leads to an appropriate climax that s quite satisfying Some fun animal characters in the story besides the Everglades alligators and mosquitoes that freak Chaz out are Mick s dog a lovable, but slow witted Doberman called Strom, who tries to bark potential intruders away from the island and Detective Rolvaag s two pet pythons who don t have much personality.but might just be eating the building s pet cats and dogs I enjoyed the book, which made me laugh Recommended to fans of light, amusing books with a message.You can follow my reviews at Loved this So I read this on Jeff s recommendation See, he wrote a review for another book by this guy called Tourist Season And in his review he had the nerve to call people from Florida loopy Well, I grew up in that lovely state, and I m normalright Hmmm It got me thinking.So I asked one of my friends.The conversation went like this Me You don t think I m weird because I m from Florida, do you Them Remember last summer Me Yeah Them Remember when you killed that snake Me The copperhead Yeah, so Them I ve just never seen anybody chop off a snake s head with kitchen shears beforeMe Oh Well, my mom always used to keep a machete by the front door, but my husband put ours in the upstairs closet somewhere Ha I remember this time when a moccasin got in our house, and she pinned it to the couch with that machete and then cut it s head off with a steak knife wipes a tear Good timesThem Um Seriously Me Well, it s not like she could shoot it Them A machete Why do you have a machete Me Are you seriously saying you don t have a machete Them I think you ve answered your own original question.So Maybe there are a few things I do differently And maybe it comes from being raised in the Sunshine State Who can really say Anyhoo This book was so much fun to read You can definitely tell the author is from Florida, because he describes it perfectly I was so homesick by the time I got done, I couldn t stand it I can almost taste the humidity just thinking about it sighJoey and Chaz go on a cruise for their 2 year wedding anniversary Which is so romantic Except Chaz is a douche And he shoves his wife overboard Why Well, you really need to read the book to find that out, and I m not going to spoil it But let s just say that he s incredibly stupid.And unlucky Because Joey doesn t drown or get eaten by sharks Nope, Joey floats to safety on a bail of pot, and then gets fished out of the water by Mick Of course, hanging on to a bail of weed in the middle of the ocean gives a girl a lot of time to think about her questionable choice in men It also gives a girl a lot of time to get pissed off.So, while going to the police might be the sane thing to doDoesn t revenge sound so much better I lovedlovedloved all of the characters in Skinny Dip, but Tool was probably my favorite He s horrible, disgusting, and awesome all rolled into one Read the book for Tool s sake, if nothing else I don t normally read books like this one, but I m glad I stepped out of my box for a few days Thank you, Jeff It was boggling to realize that an elevated ribbon of dirt was essentially all that separated 5 million raucous, distracted human beings from the prehistoric solitude of the Everglades The detective regretted that during his hitch in South Florida he hadn t spent time on the other side of the levee the sane and peaceful side Carl Hiaasen take us for a rollercoaster ride through the insane and troublesome side of the levee A place where husbands throw their wives overboard during the cruise for their second wedding anniversary A place where corrupt industrial farmers bribe fake scientists to falsify water pollution reports so they can continue to destroy the Everglades National Park A place where migrant workers are slaving away under the supervision of brutal and illiterate hitmen A place where police officers keep large pythons as pets in their apartments and paid killers collect memorial crosses from the side of the road.I have read and enjoyed the novels of Carl Hiaasen before, and Skinny Dip is one of his better efforts His signature touches are wacky characters, complicated plots where inept criminals are brought down by their own stupidity, hilarious dialogue and, most importantly, a genuine love for the natural environment of Florida that is getting systematically destroyed under the demnads of business The last part and the talent for creating memorable characters is why I rate Hiaasen above the run of the mill crime novelist He is entertaining, but there is always an engagement with the issues of corruption in politics and habitat protection.It will be difficult to make a short resume of the plot of Skinny Dip, but I would say that people who liked the movie Overboard with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are probably going to enjoy another comedy about a rich, hot babe falling into the ocean from a pleasure ship Instead of being amnesiac, Joey Perrone is well aware that her husband is the one who deliberately pushed her overboard Being a skilled swimmer, and with a bit of luck in the shape of a bale of marijuana drifting in the Gulf Stream, she survives and sets out to exact revenge on her dearly beloved creep of a husband, Chaz Perrone Joey is helped along by a reclusive former State attorney who prefers the isolation of a small private island to the bustle of civilization, by a sexy member of her Book Club, by a brother who enjoys life among sheep in New Zealand Chaz the scoundrel is already chasing other skirts, mostly a fiery Latino hairdresser named Ricca, but, thanks to his supposedly deceased wife hauntings, he has developed, for the first time in his life, erectile disfunctions, and has extra troubles with the industrial tycoon sponsoring his illegal activities and with his assigned bodyguard, a hairy and slow witted killer for hire named Tool The novel alternates between the points of view of the wife and of the husband, with a third thread dealing with the police investigation into the accident suicide murder of Joey Skinny Dip is a stand alone among the novels written by Carl Hiaasen, but fans of the author will recognize some recurring personages, among them Skink, the one eyed giant wearing a shower cap and living off the land in the middle of the swamp, as usual saving damzels in distress and dealing cruel and unusual punishment to environmental criminals Comedy is ensured by dialogue filled with sexual innuendo and sarcastic commentaries on married life, politics, pollution, violence Then there s the pland going awry, the misunderstandings, the physical and even gross out humour, but mostly it is the crashing of opposing personalities that produce the sparks I m also enjoying the fact that there isn t a clear cut demarcation line between the good guys and the bad guys, with Joey acting outside the law in order to punish her husband and with the gorilla Tool reexamining his life choices when he becomes friends with a terminally ill woman my favorite passage from the novelI believe it s never too late to change I m eighty one years old, but I still think I can be a better person tomorrow than I am today And that s what I ll believe until I run out of tomorrows I will be checking of the Florida crime books by Hiaasen, as well as the rival series written by Tim Dorsey It s difficult to pick a favorite between them both are dealing with the environment and with the criminal underworld of the Sunshine State I would say the psychopat Serge Storms is volatile and vicious than Skink et Co., but Hiaasen has the better plots and the nuanced characterization. Carl Hiaasen is right at home in that collective of modern, witty crime fiction writers who are neither Dashiell Hammett nor Raymond Chandler and hope against that you won t attempt the comparison That he s good, there s no doubt It s just he s not genius.And that s fine Not everyone can abide in stellar heights, unreachable and ever gunned for Skinny Dip was a perfectly enjoyable ode to revenge All the bad people got what was coming to them and none of the good people ever fell prey to their various bumblings and inadequacies I devoured the last half of the tale in a single sitting, staying up late enough in bed reading that my performance at the office the next day may have been diminished.It s just I ve read the greats And so I think that subconsciously I m always left thinking, Wow, that was fun but sigh it was no The Long Goodbye I know it s probably not fair to Hiasaan, but it s kind of like reading most any fantasy epic after having read The Lord of the Rings You end up feeling kind of hollow.No hard feelings, Carl You re still as good as El Leonard Marine Biologist Chaz Perrone Can T Tell A Sea Horse From A Sawhorse And When He Throws His Beautiful Wife, Joey, Off A Cruise Liner, He Really Should Know Better An Expert Swimmer, Joey Makes Her Way To A Floating Bale Of Jamaican Pot And Then To An Island Inhabited By An Ex Cop Named Mick Stranahan, Whose Ex Wives Include Five Waitresses And A TV Producer Now Joey Wants To Get Revenge On Chaz And Mick S Happy To Help HerBut In Swampy South Florida, Separating Lies From Truths And Stupidity From Brilliance Isn T Easy Especially When You Re After A Guy Like Chaz Who S Bad At Murder, Great At Fraud, And Just Terrible At Getting Caught This is a favorite author of mine He has the very best of characters Bizarre, misdirected, lost, but always fun. This book was plain hilarious It begins with Chaz throwing wife Joey overboard a cruise ship and her not only surviving, but plotting her revenge against him with ex cop Mick She decides to stay dead while slowly driving Chaz mad until the big ending A little action, comedy, and romance wrapped into one book As unrealistic and laughable as Hiaasen s books are, they somehow tend to work out well this way I always feel like it s a light break from the heavy stuff and can always expect a good laugh This is one of my favorite of his novels. Stranahan is back And so is ex governor Skink That may be why I put a fifth star on this one Or it just fit me perfectly at the time Anyway, I had a tremendously fun time with this book.